here’s what you need to know. my name is blah blah blah. i am a twenty-something (though very nearly 30 year old) 30 year 32 year old single, black attorney living in the greater washington, dc metropolitan area. to tell you the truth, this blog really serves no purpose. i mean, i’ll talk about my shit-for-brains clients, and the sketch comedy that is my dating life, but trust me, i’m relatively lacking in substance.  seriously. i’m not trying to bring harmony to the world. i’m not teaching savvy new takes on old fashioned molasses cookies. i’m not educating the masses to the ills and pitfalls of something or other.  it’s just a blog. in the interest of full disclosure, it probably behooves you to know that while i’m a lawyer, by trade, i’m an asshole by circumstance. i have two dogs. sadly, they are the only surviving evidence of my long-lost, and might i submit, fabled, humanity. “sadly,” of course, because they aren’t human at all. they’re dogs.


54 Responses to “About the Author”

  1. 1 ed
    February 12, 2010 at 4:13 am

    hey, i’m glad you have a blog. this is huge man. pretty soon you’ll have a serious following. thanks for taking my advice. keep up the good work.

  2. 4 another damn attorney
    February 24, 2010 at 1:37 pm

    just got hip to your blog yesterday – read every single bit. don’t know if that’s a compliment to you or a slight to me, but “irregardless” (i hate that bullshit too) i loved it! thanks!

    • February 24, 2010 at 6:31 pm

      i saw this, this morning. i don’t even know what to say. but thank you so much. “for all intensive purposes” (i reaaaaally hate that one), i’m pretty sure it’s a compliment to me, so i thank you for it. 🙂

  3. 6 yet another damn attorney
    February 25, 2010 at 1:07 pm

    I was at Lux this past friday night… seems those scenes you described played out throughout the club all evening. I’m not from D.C., and yes, you appear to have captured its essence.

    We’ll have to talk off-blog about your “ugly bitch” theory…

  4. February 26, 2010 at 5:41 pm

    lol. i’m all about the “essence” of dc. sometimes dc rubs its “essence” all over me–kind of like a dirty, bacteria-infused lotion.

  5. 8 @NyceBryce
    March 24, 2010 at 5:50 pm

    So apparently I’m your blogs newest number one fan. I tweeted it and sent it to all my friends, 99% of whom are lawyers but I’m not, and we all love it.

    • March 24, 2010 at 11:07 pm

      thank you! i just got out of the world’s longest meeting, and was checking my stats, and i saw this barrage of twitter views. thank you so much. i am literally getting a tee-shirt that says, “i didn’t know anything this good could come out of norfolk.” i almost shit myself when i saw that.

  6. March 30, 2010 at 8:26 am

    ok. so after being made to feel as though i am kin to brittney griner (the center for baylor’s women’s basketball team who, by all accounts, may read at a 7th grade level) in that i elect to hear most of your blogs via text-to-speech so i don’t feel too dumb for needing to rely on context clues for 3 of every 20 words… i have decided that i may just love you. and by “love you”, i mean i would probably have your kids without any sense of reluctance. who wouldn’t be happy to know their kids could grow up to say THEE most ridiculously hilarious shit that would spawn an explicit sense of dejection in any individual remotely sensitive.

    that being said, thank you for making me laugh and simultaneously making me feel like a rah-tard [(c) hangover] that i feel a subsequent need to love you.

    • March 31, 2010 at 7:21 pm

      lllllooollllll. well, okay. okay. first of all, thank you very, very much. i appreciate it. as to the matter of having my children–i suppose that is certainly a possibility. i often reflect, in my quiet moments, why, exactly, it is, that more people don’t offer to carry my children. or father them, for that matter. there is the small matter of a new generation of mes being some indicator of an ever-approaching apocalyptic end of days… at any rate, i thank you for the love, and willingness to impregnate yourself with my bastard children. it’s all about the little things……

      • 12 Anonymous
        March 31, 2010 at 11:20 pm

        haha. well be that as it is… my dual x chromosomes won’t allow me to actually bear your children. so i was speaking theoretically – i.e. james: damn, halle is still fine! i’d have her kids. fuck that euronigga.

  7. 13 And another one.
    April 6, 2010 at 9:05 pm

    Hilarious! Any chance you went to the HUSL? If not don’t tell me. I’m going to pretend you did because this blog is the business.

  8. 15 bean296
    April 7, 2010 at 12:13 pm

    Hi-lar-i-ous. You are honestly so talented and need to be writing a book!! Your wings post and your letter to kevin had me ROLLIN.

    You’re getting a huge following day by day so keep it up!

  9. 17 random person
    April 10, 2010 at 9:53 pm

    I hope that this comment does not elicit any eye-rolls on your part, but I have to say that your blog is HYSTERICAL. I heard about it through a friend’s facebook post and she found it the same way. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve showed it to who also think it’s the best thing ever.

    I hope you continue writing continue for a long time, but most importantly, I hope this brings you lots of fame and fortune and a lucrative book deal (seriously, I would buy that book). You really have a gift.

    Take care!

    • April 14, 2010 at 9:41 pm

      thank you! no eye rolls here at all. i’d never eye roll a compliment. i’m more prone to the scrunched-eyebrow grimace, anyway. but thank you for the well-wishes. lol….all of your hopes are aligned with mine. i appreciate it, though.

  10. 19 huh?
    April 14, 2010 at 11:53 am

    your blog is awesome.
    an asshole by circumstance, is the true form of real.

  11. May 13, 2010 at 8:43 pm

    ok. my friend sent me the link to this blog yesterday and I am very upset for a myriad of reasons:

    1) I am upset that I didn’t discover this blog sooner. “How original!” I know. But I am crying because I am laughing so hard.

    2) I am upset because now that I have discovered this blog and will undoubtedly have gone through you entire collection of postings by the beginning of next week, I will then have to wait for your future posts like some regular follower… Don’t want to do that.

    3) I am disgruntled (see how I switched it up there?) because I feel like I am looking at my future. In fact, and perhaps more unnervingly, I am looking at my present; only exception being I am going to law school this fall as opposed to already being a practicing attorney. Oh, and hence I do not have the disposable income to have the adventures you have ($20 for parking… saywhatnow?)

    Honestly, the only written thing that has made me laugh this hard is and that’s very different. gofugyourself is more like a “haha. I would have never thought of that. That was cleverly written” type of laughter. Whereas with your blog it is more of a “Lol.lmfao. did you climb inside my head, hook my mind up to a loud speaker, amplify and broadcast my thoughts?” or an “I would have definitely thought/said that sh*t had I been ‘keeping it real’ or been in a different time,place and headspace” type of laughter.

    Ultimately, I think what I am trying to say is, this is hilarious! Keep on blogging. People like me thoroughly enjoy the entertainment.

    (is it obvious by the length of my comment that i am unemployed?…hope not….)

    • May 14, 2010 at 10:59 pm

      aww. thanks so much! i’m glad you like it. starting law school in the fall, huh?

      you know being a lawyer is like going to law school every day for the remainder of your working life, right? like, every night you have homework. and every day you have to be some place. and you have to get there super early, and stay super late. and people yell at you, and ask you dumb questions…. also, you are constantly immmmmmmmmmmmmersed in douchebaggery…


      it’s been a long work week, as you can probably tell.

      anyway, thanks for reading the blog! I appreciate it. good luck with school.

  12. 23 Chris
    May 20, 2010 at 10:37 pm

    A friend just introduced your blog to me about 30 minutes ago and I have had a great time reading just 3 of your posts!!!

    I am reading your posts from faraway Lagos, Nigeria and while our contexts are different, the similarity of human experience is all too clear to see in your posts!!

    I’m surely gonna read every post and then wait for more…

    Lastly, it’s not just the stuff you talk about but the style…oh surely someone must be smart enough to give you a book deal ASAP!!

    • June 14, 2010 at 2:25 am

      Chris…thank you so much. I appreciate it. It actually seems like all of my friends are always on their way to, or returning from Lagos.

      “Similarity of human experience,” huh? That’s actually kind of sad. I’d hoped for a lesser degree of ridiculousness upon crossing the Atlantic. damnit.

  13. 25 LawInTheMaking
    June 10, 2010 at 4:13 am

    Hey Soror, LOVE the blog. Very witty. Keep up the great work.

  14. June 22, 2010 at 6:17 pm

    Nice meeting you this weekend, although I thought we were going to have to fight for a second (LOL, Just Kidding)! Looking forward to keeping up and interacting with you via your blog!


  15. 29 Anonymous
    July 24, 2010 at 6:13 am

    you were in NC and didn’t tell me? not that it matters….i’m in Mexico….but still

  16. August 16, 2010 at 8:45 pm

    i print your blog out and read it at home because reading it takes up more than half of my work day, I love it. Thank you.

  17. 32 Donn
    November 4, 2010 at 3:45 pm

    I liked it, and I’m white. I apologize. 😛 😉

  18. 33 Donn
    November 4, 2010 at 9:11 pm

    I liked it, and I’m white. I apologize. 😛 😉

    Oh, wait. I just saw you hate emoticons. I WON’T apologize. :-p

    • November 26, 2010 at 1:41 am

      lol. i don’t *hate* emoticons…and thanks for reading….and distinguishing PALATE/PALETTE/PALLET….and, you know..for being white…

      • 35 Donn
        December 5, 2010 at 6:54 am

        No prob. The white part is on me; I don’t even charge. On most dates anyway.

        Watchyerloskankinazz. Guys wanna get MARRIED and shit. I’m a guy and *I* never understood *that* shit.

  19. 36 Elle
    November 12, 2010 at 2:50 pm

    I absolutely have smiled more today because of your blog! THANKS

  20. 38 SG
    November 24, 2010 at 7:25 pm

    I was just put on to this blog two days ago…and to say it has made my day is an understatement. You are so in my head, but more raw…and I love it! I’m currently at work in my office randomly bursting in to laughter, but I can’t stop reading. I’m sure it’s been said several times to you before, but you MUST publish a book ASAP…it just wouldn’t do your talent justice otherwise. Love the blog…please continue to make me smile and have a good laugh. Take care! 🙂

  21. 40 sourpatchkid
    January 11, 2011 at 9:17 pm

    fooler, i heart you and your blog dearly! admittedly, i fell off once i moved across the country and started my firm job in september (another lawyer, yes, i know, gross) — BUT, i’ve always followed you on twitter and am right there with you on sunday nights, enjoying my chris hansen, sweat tea, and freshly baked (nonexistent) cookies! i am now going back to catch up on all the amazing posts i know i’ve missed, and just wanted to tell you how much i appreciate your internet presence in my life. keep making me laugh loudly and inappropriately at work, and reinforcing the idea that being an honest asshole is, and always will be, the best way to live life. bye girl!

  22. 41 NubianEmpress
    March 10, 2011 at 8:44 pm

    i diggeth.

  23. 42
    April 21, 2011 at 8:39 pm

    oooh i swear we are kinfolk. GIRL. at least skinfolk.

    this blog is my life. please don’t ever go away.

  24. 43 Tashya
    August 7, 2011 at 5:03 pm

    You are brilliantly sarcastic and hysterical. I bet you went to Howard.

  25. 44 Anonymous
    October 13, 2011 at 4:28 am

    I’ve read less than 10 entries but waiting for you to discover Lulu . . .

  26. December 15, 2011 at 5:44 pm

    I have to say that for the last few of hours i have been hooked by the amazing posts on this blog. Keep up the wonderful work.

  27. 46 Msnice_T
    January 25, 2012 at 12:12 am

    Live your writing here and on twitter

  28. February 12, 2012 at 1:16 pm

    When Someone said your site, Hopefully it doesnt disappoint me just as much as this. After all, It was my choice to read, on the other hand actually thought youd have something interesting to express. All I hear is a number of whining about something that you could fix should you werent too busy searching for attention.

  29. 48 E
    April 11, 2012 at 9:24 pm

    I was directed to your blog today and I haven’t stopped laughing, and/or nodding my head in agreement since. I love your writing style, and as a 28 year old, single black female attorney living in DC, your experiences resonate with me. Thanks for being you!

  30. October 26, 2012 at 10:14 pm

    Stumbled upon your blog by one of your tweets that got RT’d. So excited to follow! This will be fun. ;D

  31. 50 Anonymous
    October 30, 2012 at 12:37 am

    A friend of mine referred me to your blog. I am just an average joe Indian girl with black tendencies. I love your blog. I can’t say I can relate, but its very comical and always makes me laugh! Thank you Fooler!

  32. 51 Trapped
    July 29, 2013 at 2:54 pm

    I follow you on twitter and although your tweets are mostly slaying your clients and tales of your office days, I think you’re true. Meaning you won’t Bullshit a person just to take their money and leave them fucked up. Or I could be way off and you could be like others, don’t know. Anyway I write you here because I’m in need of criminal legal assistance in Virginia. Your contact info isn’t listed on your bio (as it shouldn’t on Twitter) and I’d like try and schedule a consult and fee for it.

    • August 14, 2013 at 4:32 am

      so sorry i never saw this. i’ve been neglectful with the blog. i actually do not meet clients from twitter or this space, but if you still need an attorney, i can make a few recs.

  33. August 7, 2013 at 11:16 pm

    I stumbled upon your blog after stumbling upon your twitter, and picked an article at random. Your writing is amazing, so vivid, so humorous. I’ve got a feeling I’m going to be getting lost in these pages over the next few days. Thank you for sharing this with the world.

  34. 54 Anonymous
    August 20, 2013 at 2:53 am

    Hey honeybun. Just patiently waiting for you to post a new blog. *twiddles thumbs*.

    P.s. Whatever has you stressed, I hope it gets better. I have faith in you!

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a history of my meanderings….


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